I’M OVER ONE MILLION!!! AAGGGHHHHH!!!!
I reached the magic number on True Love Waits by Radiohead. The song technically doesn’t have a drum part… but I made one up. And it was fun. I’m sure Thom Yorke would glare disapprovingly.
EVIDENCE:
At the moment I am writing a new feature in OneStop that will make certain channels automatically refresh at set intervals. Since my blog has an RSS feed, this is a test post to see if my RSS feed gets updated in OneStop without me refreshing the page.
Babelfish, the famed online translator, can take any paragraph of text and turn it into a laugh riot. Simply take the text, translate it from English to German to French to Dutch to Japanese and back to English. The result? Comedy gold. For example, take the first few paragraphs of this lovely prose by Bill O’Reilly and run it through the laugh machine. Here’s what you end up with:
In first class of the school of Long Island St. Brigid, the Catholic church is established and is high in either one he “the stone” being to be, including me in 60 boys, sisters which is made is praying to St. Peter. I me was 6 years old, but being the recall to do, liking St. Peter who the naturally, makes good sisters happy greatly it cannot remember many from that. Now, 50 years or more after the praying my first class, in the St. Peter’s successor America there is here, I possess complicated frame of mind concerning that. Like the American of some 1000000 Catholic follower, I was disappointed deeply with the Vatican to the scandal of pedophilia of the priest response. It was overturned with respect to the crime whose slow pope two world really is large due to the new England priest, fact of the easy work of Rome that almost was inexcusable it gave remuneration to the basic law of Bernard.
Duganz (of duganzat23.blogspot.com), Karf and I had many-a-chuckle over this. We just may be easily amused.
Everybody in Missoula got a taste of big-time politics today as Barack Obama came to town. My mom, the Karf and I went to the Obama rally this morning. The line was long, the speech was great, and I took a bunch of pictures. I’ve got to say, it was quite surreal to see Obama standing in Missoula of all places, after following him on the televisions and the internets for such a long time.
I’ve been an Obama fan since seeing him on Conan a long while back. And yes, while I realize that this is a great superficial reason to start liking a political figure, it’s when I first really heard the man speak. Conan asked him a question about his family and if their view of him had changed because of his recent rise to political stardom. He said something about how his family keeps him grounded, and said that they still gather around the dinner table like any other family — except he addresses his family as “My fellow Obamas….” It made me lol and then I realized… woah… did a politician just make a witty joke that wasn’t lame? It blew my mind.
Since then I’ve learned a lot more about Obama’s policies and got myself all good and informed. Two things really stuck out for me: Obama’s knowledge of and stance on tech issues and his refusal to accept PAC and lobbyist campaign contributions. I could go into more detail… but I want to show some photos!
Back when I was a wee tomfite, I was all about the Care Bears. Anything and everything Care Bear related had to be consumed. Mom would sit me down in front of the those lovable bears and I would sit for hours, eyes transfixed and jaws a-gape. Then, sadly, I turned 7 and all of the sudden Care Bears didn’t have quite the appeal that they used to. Fast forward 18 or so years. The Internet is a wonderful place, but it can uncover deep and repressed memories that one wishes were left buried. I stumbled upon the Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation on YouTube and it awakened something in me that had long been asleep: total and unfettered terror. Although I loved the Care Bears to death, that movie scared the bejeezus out of me.
This scene, in particular, sent me running out of the room screaming nearly every time. It’s where the evil “Dark Heart” goes absolutely insane and starts destroying the universe with hate. Or something to that effect. Best to witness for yourself:
Aggghhhh that voice… that horrible horrible voice. I remember the sound of that scene but not the video. I’m pretty sure this is because every time it came on I was hiding under something, scared to death. I had a hard time not covering my eyes when I watched this again today… and I’m a grown man. Oh, the shame.
Yeah, that’s right. He’s on the television right now looking like he got his ass handed to him by a 200 pound midget (that can do flying ninja kicks).
He said that he fell on some pavement or down some stairs or some such nonsense, but we all know better. Where did the bad man touch you, Charlie? You can tell me. I’m an adult.
This weekend was spent entirely playing the drums, give or take a few bouts of Smash Bros Brawl. I got around to rearranging my room so that I could actually make it to the dresser in the morning without toe stubbing incidents. The drum set is now safely tucked into a corner, thusly:
The drums have a hit counter on them that tells you how many times the pads have been struck. I’m over 200,000 hits. It’s pretty scary how quickly it adds up… especially considering I was only 100,000 on Friday.
Favorite song so far to play on da drums: Jigsaw Falling Into Place by the Radioheads. For some reason that rhythm and I get a long really really well.
In non-drum related news, I stuck my camera in the sink and took some high shutter speed flash pictures. I really like how they turned out.
I ordered a shiny new electronic drum set about a couple of weeks ago, and after a series of misadventures thought that they were back ordered until March 31st. BUT — I got word they were shipping last week and they got here today! Wheeeeeee! Yamaha DTXplorer. An insane amount of fun, especially drumming around to music. Weird thing is I can only seem to do one or two beats when I’m not playing to anything, but with music I can pick up a ton of different rhythms fairly quickly.
Here’s the aftermath of the drum’s packaging. So… many… boxes… (full of goodness (It was a bit like Christmas morning (sorry about the over abundance of parenthesis (LISP, anyone?))))
BEHOLD:
Alright, television. I don’t like you and you sure as hell don’t like me. How do I know this? There is a show on at this VERY minute (probably not while you are reading this, but while I’m writing it happens to be true…) that is infuriating beyond belief.
I’m looking at you, NBC, and your hell-spawn of MY DAD IS BETTER THAN YOUR DAD. I don’t even know if that’s the correct title. I’m too angry to look it up. The reason why Karf told me that I’m blogging quite furiously right now… The reason why this show will eventually destroy all that is good and decent about mankind… THEY ARE ASKING QUESTIONS THAT NOBODY AT HOME CAN POSSIBLY ANSWER.
Unless you happen to know these kids and their insipid parents, there is no possible way you can use your brain while watching this mess. They are asking the dads questions about their own offspring. How the crap am I supposed to know what Junior’s favorite number is? Why do I give two flying craps? I don’t! Shut up, television! I hate you! I don’t know what the kid’s favorite saying is. I’d guess “LOL” but that was obviously incorrect. Dad knew the answer. And guess what… SO DID HIS KID.
And the coup de grace… the kid actually SMILED when the moron emcee read off the correct answer. All Dad had to do was look at his little monster to see what the answer was. Dad could be neglectful and ignore his kid all day but it won’t matter ’cause he can cheat his way to victory on MY DAD IS BETTER THAN YOUR DAD.
I’m calming down a little bit because it’s 9:02 and the danger has passed. Although, I do want to mention one more thing about this: the music. Yes, we’re talking Who Wants To Be The Weakest Link vs. 100 SUSPENSE-O-THON standard score that is all-too-depressingly familiar to the awful prime time game show circuit.
“For $10,000: What is your son’s……… favorite food?” (synth orchestra sweep)
“Is it A: Alaph-bits” (cymbal brush)
“B: French toast”(dee-dee-dee)
“C: Pizza rolls” (kid giggles nervously)
“D: Cookies” (drum roll begins to build)
“Uhh… gee… I dunno… D? Cookies?” (music builds to a crescendo)
“Do you want to lock in your answer?” Yes. They have to lock in their answers.
“Yes. My son likes cookies. D.” All the while the kid is shaking his head and looking at the floor. Music breaks.
“Sorry. It was C. Pizza Rolls.” (Awwwwww….)
Thanks Dad. You are the definition of fail. I don’t even care if that other dad is better than you. For all I care, I am an orphan.
The brother and I took a little trip to the Best Buy this morning and shelled out a chunk of money for a HDTV receiver for the ol’ CRT widescreen. I’m not sure exactly why we waiting so long to buy one of those things, because…
I spent all day watching TV.
Yes, yes I did. And I’m not a real huge fan of the television in the first place, but today was different. Today, the television was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever set eyes on. I watched things I normally would have nothing to do with. For example — basketball. I never watch basketball. I also never watch the US Figure Skating championships… but the picture was so clear and mesmerizing that I couldn’t look away.
In all we get 6 channels: NBC, CBS, ABC, the CW and two PBS’s. No FOX to be had, so we sadly were not able to find out how Homer Simpson invented single handedly invented the grunge genre last decade. That’s a shame. PBS wins hands down for best use of HD. Parrots are pretty.
I also would like to add that the CW should not exist. It’s a good thing it wasn’t available in HD, or else I might have actually succumbed to watching an episode of Life is Wild.
If I hadn’t spent all day watching TV in a hypnotized stupor, I might have actually done something productive. (Not likely, but I’d like to think so.) This will prove an excellent scapegoat for the next couple of weeks, until HD finally loses it’s shiny-ness. Hopefully it does before I watch The Biggest Loser, or something equally unspeakable, just because it’s in high def.
Oh lord no… NO. Must send this device back to the bowels of hell from whence it came.