blog.tomfite.com

So… Texas. Hi. How’s it going? Yeah?

You’re completely nuts.

Japan is weird.

This is a art / dance / time / music / advertising / dance thing called UNIQLOCK. It features

• A clock
• Cute dancing Japanese girls
• Catchy music
• Little fuzzy monsters
• Randomness

Oh, and cute dancing Japanese girls. Did I already mention that?

Click below for the full screen version (which is much more impressive!)

I couldn’t agree more with this.

Thank you, John McCain, for finally representing the interests of the littlest, driest, cutest voting bloc: dehydrated babies.

The other night I spent a few hours watching cats playing theremins on YouTube.

I know — I live a very exciting life, full of adventure and intrigue.

For those who don’t know, a theremin is a musical instrument that you can play without touching. It detects the position of your hands using Science and emits a corresponding frequency.

As an added bonus, some of them have antennas that cats love to swat at. For those who don’t know, a cat is a small domesticated mammal of the feline order. They are oftentimes ridiculously adorable.

WATCH A CAT PLAY A THEREMIN!!!

This one is pretty good, too — there are multiple cats and war breaks out at the end.

I want a kitty. I want a theremin. Both would be ideal.

Babelfish, the famed online translator, can take any paragraph of text and turn it into a laugh riot. Simply take the text, translate it from English to German to French to Dutch to Japanese and back to English. The result? Comedy gold. For example, take the first few paragraphs of this lovely prose by Bill O’Reilly and run it through the laugh machine. Here’s what you end up with:

In first class of the school of Long Island St. Brigid, the Catholic church is established and is high in either one he “the stone” being to be, including me in 60 boys, sisters which is made is praying to St. Peter. I me was 6 years old, but being the recall to do, liking St. Peter who the naturally, makes good sisters happy greatly it cannot remember many from that. Now, 50 years or more after the praying my first class, in the St. Peter’s successor America there is here, I possess complicated frame of mind concerning that. Like the American of some 1000000 Catholic follower, I was disappointed deeply with the Vatican to the scandal of pedophilia of the priest response. It was overturned with respect to the crime whose slow pope two world really is large due to the new England priest, fact of the easy work of Rome that almost was inexcusable it gave remuneration to the basic law of Bernard.

Duganz (of duganzat23.blogspot.com), Karf and I had many-a-chuckle over this. We just may be easily amused.

There is absolutely no reason that this clip from the Daily Show should be so fantastically hilarious. Actually, there is. Pure, unadulterated immaturity. This is, by far, one of the most stupid, immature sketches that TDS has ever done, but it’s also one of the funniest.

Yeah, I know. I need to grow up.

Back when I was a wee tomfite, I was all about the Care Bears. Anything and everything Care Bear related had to be consumed. Mom would sit me down in front of the those lovable bears and I would sit for hours, eyes transfixed and jaws a-gape. Then, sadly, I turned 7 and all of the sudden Care Bears didn’t have quite the appeal that they used to. Fast forward 18 or so years. The Internet is a wonderful place, but it can uncover deep and repressed memories that one wishes were left buried. I stumbled upon the Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation on YouTube and it awakened something in me that had long been asleep: total and unfettered terror. Although I loved the Care Bears to death, that movie scared the bejeezus out of me.

This scene, in particular, sent me running out of the room screaming nearly every time. It’s where the evil “Dark Heart” goes absolutely insane and starts destroying the universe with hate. Or something to that effect. Best to witness for yourself:

Aggghhhh that voice… that horrible horrible voice. I remember the sound of that scene but not the video. I’m pretty sure this is because every time it came on I was hiding under something, scared to death. I had a hard time not covering my eyes when I watched this again today… and I’m a grown man. Oh, the shame.

This blog should probably be renamed to “random things tomfite finds on the interwarbs” because somehow that’s what it’s turned into.

Prepare yourself for tonight’s find, because it is really nerdy. We’re talking at least 3.65 kilonerds on the nerdiness scale. This is a video of a fully functional binary adding machine made out of wood and marbles.

If I were this guy, I’d probably set it up to throw the marbles back up to the top and feed them all through the 1 bit at a rate of 1 per second, so it would turn into a binary clock. That would be sweeeeeet. Well… I guess that would only work if a minute had 63 seconds. This should be changed, anyway.

Here’s a detailed description of the project.

So, there I was, innocently surfing the interwarbs, when I happen upon the most disturbing video I’ve seen in a good long while. This is a robotic, fully autonomous quadruped. In the future these will stalk you, hunt you down and replace all of the soft tissue in your body with NIGHTMARES.

BEHOLD THE BIGDOG:

(NOTE: do not watch if you have an innate fear of robots, dogs, flies, bugs, deer, creepy noises, or kicking defenseless machines. They will not be defenseless for long.)

After lolfing about Garfield Minus Garfield I was reminded of Lasagna Cat. Now, I found Lasagna Cat on the interwarbs a while ago, but it deserves a bloggin none the less. They are loving tributes to Jim Davis for his tireless work making America laugh every day.

Actually, they’re more like tripped-out bizzaro creations that can only described with the letters W, T and F.

Observe:

And a few more of my faaaaavorites:

Final Fantasy / Garfield mashup
Awww, poor Jon
Nightmare inducing